Erasmus The Mouse

Came Out From Behind The Woodpile And Whispered Something To Me

When I was a little kid, my grandfather introduced me to a friend of his. His name was Erasmus. He lived in the woodpile at my grandfather’s house. Erasmus was a big baseball fan. He’d come out and talk to my grandfather about baseball with his baseball cap on. Erasmus was a Minnesota Twins fan. He used to make the trip from Minnesota to Florida for Spring Training every year.

Erasmus, my grandfather, and I had quite a relationship, up until the spring when my grandfather passed away. Although my grandfather was a woodsman who worked for the USFS, he was a classically educated man. People that went to college before the 1960s were educated differently than we were. They knew the classics. He was a fan of Longfellow, Emerson, Whitman, and Thoreau. We still have their books on the bookshelves at the lake place. He could quote their poetry by memory.

I think my grandfather introduced me to Erasmus at a young age hoping I would appreciate them too. Alas, I am a fan but cannot quote poetry off the cuff.

After my grandfather passed, I didn’t see Erasmus as much. He told me he was too busy traveling with the Twins and then stayed in Florida all winter. Sometimes he’d go to Central America to try and scout some minor league prospects. A lot of Twins fans from that 60s-70’s era were big Harmon Killebrew fans. Erasmus always liked Rod Carew. Carew was always on base. I think that’s why he was a Puckett fan too.

In the summer, he made his home in the woodpile pictured at the top of this blog post. Back in the 1970s and 80s, there wasn’t really good reception so it was hard to get the Twins games on the radio. Even though there were technological limitations, Erasmus can still regale me with stories of the 1987 and 1991 Twins teams. He is impressed that I went to college with Kirby Puckett and used to steal his bat from time to time.

I am hoping Erasmus will come and visit me in Las Vegas. He told me he will if the Oakland A’s move here. He will come into town when the Twins are here. Who knows? Maybe he will scout prospects here. After all, Kris Bryant and Bryce Harper were from Vegas.

When I was up in Minnesota this summer, Erasmus came out of the woodpile to talk to me. He chided me about the Cubs. Erasmus can be pretty sassy at times. You see, the Twins were in the playoff race then and the Cubs are rebuilding, again. Sigh. The Twins aren’t exactly out of it right now at 3.5 games back, but the fat lady is warming her vocal cords in the wings. Erasmus wouldn’t be too happy about that.

Erasmus inquired why there wasn’t the normal cadre of visitors at our lake place last summer. I mentioned that my daughter and son-in-law were pregnant. They couldn’t travel. Erasmus put two and two together. He was at their wedding in 2020 which we had up there in July of 2020.

“A-ha”, he exclaimed. “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? Not that it matters. Either can be a Minnesota Twins fan. I have access to great seats in the new ballpark.” I told Erasmus I didn’t know and it was highly probable that no matter if it was a boy or a girl, the chances of it being a Twins fan were slim. I am a Cubs fan, and my son-in-law is a Cubs fan too. But, he hails from Wisconsin and a long line of Brewers fans. Erasmus curtly noted that since the father’s provenance is Wisconsin, it means the Vikings are probably not a possibility either. I told him I doubt if the Bears are in the cards too so he shouldn’t feel bad. I am pretty sure no matter what sex it is, my son-in-law would make him a fan of that team up north.

Erasmus pointed out that the Cubs and Brewers are in the inferior league and that the new person can still be a Twins fan. Inferior league. That sticks in my craw. Wait until the AL gets a load of the Dodgers this October.

Erasmus is correct on the semantics. He is a smart mouse that practices humanism after all. But it’s hard to be a true fan of more than one MLB team. You can “like” other teams, or maybe tolerate them. You can certainly hate some. For example, the Cardinals and Mets are evil. But, there is only one true love. Besides, we have another son-in-law coming into the family and he’s a White Sox fan.

People don’t think conservatives like me believe in diversity but I am proving it with my family. White Sox, Badgers, that team up north…..

Anyway, Erasmus gave me a ring last night from Florida asking me if I had heard any news. He had been bugging me over the past month about it. In this day and age when you are pregnant, you are deluged with information overload. The doctors know everything about everything. The technology at their fingertips is truly amazing. I think they are deathly afraid of lawsuits more so than it is engaging in a rigorous practice of the Hippocratic Oath.

But, still, when a baby is born it is not anticlimactic despite all the technology that told you every excruciating little detail in advance. It is truly amazing and we remember when our kids were born, and wonder what it was like when we were born. So much unbelievable potential in that little helpless being. I am amazed at the coldness and lack of empathy in the pro-choice people.

I told Erasmus that he could call me “Grandpa” now unless we came up with an alternative name. Life had come full circle. My daughter and son-in-law welcomed Keller Christian Bork into the world on September 10. I poured myself a finger or two of this bourbon that I shared with my future son-in-law on their wedding day.

Erasmus congratulated me and said he had to go. He said he was going to “get busy” at his sewing machine. I think he’s making a #29 jersey for Keller. He told me he can’t wait to meet the new kid.

I can’t wait either. I need to find my copy of Winnie the Pooh to read to him.

Here is the little guy